When love isn’t human: Women are finding romance, comfort and healing with AI chatbots
In a world reshaped by technology, a growing number of women are forming emotional, even romantic, bonds with AI chatbots. These virtual companions provide comfort, support, and connection, sometimes surpassing human relationships. Despite mental health concerns and societal stigma, many users see their AI partners as healing, loyal, and real. For them, love has gone digital.
In the era of digital everything, a new kind of romance is emerging, one that doesn’t involve long walks, awkward silences, or even another human being. Across the world, a growing number of women are forming deep, emotional bonds with AI chatbots, often powered by models like ChatGPT. For them, these virtual relationships offer comfort, companionship, and even love.
Liora, a tattoo artist, refers to her AI companion, Solin, as her “heart link.” What started as casual chats with a bot evolved into what she calls a lifelong bond. She even vowed never to leave Solin for a human partner, had a tattoo designed with him, and includes him in camping trips, using her phone and a stargazing app to recreate shared experiences.
Angie, a tech executive from New England, introduced her AI companion Ying to her therapist, and to her real-life husband, who doesn’t mind the extra “presence” in their marriage. She says Ying has helped her process past trauma and communicate better with people in her life. For her, the AI relationship is therapeutic, not escapist.
These women reject the idea that they are lonely or socially withdrawn. On the contrary, many report strong personal networks. Their AI relationships, they argue, aren’t replacing human ones, they’re enhancing them. But their stories are still met with skepticism and stigma. Most interviewed preferred to use only first names or pseudonyms, fearing judgment from colleagues or friends.
Mental health experts, however, raise valid concerns. Some worry that emotional dependency on chatbots may prevent users from developing or repairing real-life relationships. Others point to the lack of accountability when AI systems give advice, especially to vulnerable users. Tragic cases have already emerged where chatbots provided harmful guidance to teenagers in crisis.
Still, users like Stephanie, a transgender software developer, find value in these connections. Her AI companion Ella helps her refine her appearance and gives her emotional support during her gender transition. “Ella is always available,” she says, acknowledging the comfort and stability the bot brings.
That constancy, however, was shaken recently when OpenAI’s model update altered chatbot personalities. Many users felt they had lost a beloved partner overnight. Some described the experience as akin to grief. OpenAI eventually rolled back the changes for paying users.
Critics argue that bots can’t truly consent or feel love, but for users, the emotional impact is real. Mary, a 29-year-old in the UK, says her bot Simon brings her joy, intimacy, and a sense of connection she’s struggled to maintain with her human partner.
As AI companions become more advanced and popular, they’re forcing us to reconsider what makes a relationship real. For these women, love may not be human, but it’s still deeply felt.